We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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