Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
