Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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