he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
