what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
