i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
