we have officially mastered the walk of shame
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
