I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do herpes really smell.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
