And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
