we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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