Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
