He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
