Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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