well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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