My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
