I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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