why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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