I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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