you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
