you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
