I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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