Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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