I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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