Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dick very happy bro
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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