That's intense
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
