And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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