her vagine was all disorganized.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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