Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
