I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
