she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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