yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I sprained my soul last night
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
