My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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