And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize