Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
