My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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