Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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