I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
