I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
