dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
