Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
