I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
