My brain says no but my pants say off.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
