Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
its liver damage thursday
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
