My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize