would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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