Will you blow on my dice?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize