Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
