I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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