my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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