Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Damn victory sex feels great
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