I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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