Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
