She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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