Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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