I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just pee around me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
