KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
