It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
