as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
