it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
