so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
