i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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